Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
