I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
