drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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