addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
