I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I've blown a few things in my day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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