"it" just moved
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
