i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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