a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
