How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
