This girl is more easily done than said...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I need water and some morals
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
