now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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