and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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