After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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