don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
