I feel like abortions should bother me more
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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