I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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