Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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