so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
