Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
