Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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