ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
