Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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