Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
