So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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