It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
