I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize