they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize