Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
