So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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