I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
