It's Friday. Sex?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
