Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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