Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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