I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
