Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
