i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
