I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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