I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just gargled with NyQuil
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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