I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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