Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
