Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
