You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
