I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
