Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I love having hate sex.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I believe in your delicious
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
