Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
