Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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