He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
