it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize