btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
