he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
