My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
