I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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