Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
