Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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