And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
