Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
