TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
