Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
