oh god the rape fog is back!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
