No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
