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• (602): View more from Arizona

  i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

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• (347): View more from New York

  you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.

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• (510): View more from California

  Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.

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• (714): View more from California

  So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold

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