You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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