And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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