thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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