OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think I died a long time ago.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
