Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
