I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
