Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
