And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
