I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
PANTIES FOUND
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
